Whip Queen has been married way too long and has uncovered the secrets of keeping combat away from home. Can't get what you want from the relationship? Ask her and she'll tell you how to manipulate even the most headstrong. She's got the three S's down: sassy, savvy and sexy. This Mediterranean Goddess knows how to use the strap and keep them begging for it.
Whip Queen
Dear Whip Queen,
This may seem crazy, but I am in love with two men. I haven't met either
of them, because they are both Internet relationships. From their photos, both
are very hot, and they tell me they are in love with me. My friends tell me
to find someone closer to home. For some reason I have trouble meeting people
in person. Well, the problem is I told them I wasn't sure which one I wanted,
and now they are both giving me the cold shoulder. What should I do?
Signed, the e-mail queen, Cyprus, Greece
Dear E-mail Queen,
I believe that internet love is near impossible. Your friends are right, turn off the computer and go out and have some fun. When you least expect it , love will find you.
Start by finding a new way to spend your free time. Since you have a hard time meeting people then maybe you should join a class or a club of some sort.
When love does find you, it will be someone that doesn't care that you have bad breath in the morning, and who thinks your stretch marks are signs of beauty.
Signed, Whip Queen
Dear Whip Queen,
I love my partner, but every time a major holiday comes around we get into
a major fight. I think she expects too much and nothing will make her happy.
She thinks I don't do enough. This year I e-mailed her a card for Valentine's
Day and gave her a backrub that evening. She was pissed off because I didn't
give her flowers. Christmas was worse. Next year I am going to pretend I have
a business trip or something.
Signed, what the hell does she want, Toronto. Canada
Dear What the Hell,
You should consider your self lucky that she even let you touch her that night.
You e-mailed her a Valentines Day card? What the hell were
you thinking? That fact that you have access to e-mail leads
me to believe that you're not from some primitive region of
the world where e-mail etiquette is not known. But even if
you are, you're still not excused.
You should know better. Isn't she worth the endeavour of going to a store and purchasing a card? One that you actually took the time to read and made sure it applies to your relationship? One that's red and pink and proclaims her your sweetheart? Who wouldn't rather have that then one that says click here?
If she didn't complain she'd be selling herself short. Maybe you're cheap. Is that it? Is that why you opted to give her a stupid back rub (something couples could do any night of the week) rather then buy her flowers?
What does she want? I have a feeling she's already told you
but here it is again: someone who cares about her to actually
show it and make her feel that she's worth you investing your
time to think of her feelings and do something with a personal
touch.
She is not asking for too much. If you really care about her, start by showing it. It's the little things that matter. And if it's too much of an effort then maybe you should pretend you're going away next Christmas. It might just give her the opportunity she needs to meet someone else.
PS: If you're hard up for cash, one single flower from your neighbour's
garden would give the same effect as a whole bouquet. Okay, maybe not the same
exact effect but you'd still get lucky that night.
Signed, Whip Queen
Contact the Whip Queen at 5a7@avivalasvegas.com.
Make sure to put Whip Queen in the subject.
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