Gotta sex question? Ask Retired Whore, our highly experienced
sex columnist. Maybe she's the waitress serving you your morning
coffee or maybe the lady at the tollbooth. Either way, she's
our answer to Larry Flynt, Howard Stern and Dr. Ruth, all
rolled into one sexy package.
Retired Whore
Bisexual Boyfriend wants HIM not you, girl!
Dear Retired Whore,
I have recently been informed by my boyfriend (who I am
madly in love with,) that he is bisexual and happens to be
super attracted to my ex-boyfriend, who I had over the top
sex with.
My partner would never cheat on me, but he's so excited
about the idea of us having a threesome. Have you ever had
a threesome with two other men? I'm mostly curious about having
two cocks at the same time.
I drool at the thought of it, but I'm a little concerned
about how pleasurable sex with one will be after that.
Will I get all stretched out of shape? Forever? I'm just
not sure if it's a good idea all together. What do you think?
Signed: a little reluctant, but soooooo curious,
New Hamburg, ON.
Dear Reluctant,
If I had you here I'd shake some sense into you girl! You
don't really believe Mr. Boyfriend won't cheat on you? Not
only will he cheat on you, but also he'll do it with you there.
His idea for a threesome has nothing to do with wanting to
please you or enhance what the two of you might already have
sexually.
What he wants is not about the two of you as a couple, but
to satisfy his own lust. It's about him. What a jerk!
If you are in la-la land about how great it would be to
have both of them fucking you, you're in for some rude shit.
If ex agrees to this, Mr. Boyfriend's cock will be throbbing
in his direction full speed ahead and you'll be knocked off
the bed.
You'll be left cooing them on so you don't come off as a
bad sport. Or worse, lying there playing with yourself trying
to be all sexy, hoping they'll notice and give you some cock
action.
Couple fantasies gone wrong can be pretty damaging to the
best of relationships. Yours is far from the best.
Let's see: you're madly in love with him, he's super attracted
to your ex.
GREAT! I'd tell you to dump his sorry ass, which you probably
won't do. So I suggest you tell Mr. Boyfriend that you'll
go along with his threesome idea only if the other man is
there to please you.
Call me selfish, but the time two people, of any gender,
are coming into my bed it will be ONLY because they want me,
not each other. Share, but donŐt give it away. I hope that
one day you fulfill your fantasies with great pleasurable
experiences. Just don't be a fool.
About getting stretched out of shape. That won't happen.
Our vaginas are constructed to endure more then just a couple
of cocks.
RW
How to turn your Super Pussy
into a Squirt Girl!
Dear Retired Whore,
Lately I have hearing a lot about "female squirting."
There is even a reference to this in the avivalasvegas launch
issue. I heard there are movies on this as well. Is it true
there are porn movies to teach you how to do this?
From what I can understand, it's something like a man
cumming. I am a female and would like to know more about this.
On the other hand, I am worried that it will make a big mess.
Signed Squirtless in Spain. Please Help!
Dear Squirtless,
When I read your letter I immediately thought of my good friend
Janet.
A while back, during one of our morning coffee/sex talks,
she delighted me with stories of her orgasm experiences, and
how at times her orgasms are so intense her pussy juices spray
out of her.
Though I thought this was very cool and quite unique I didn't
question how. I assumed it was natural for Janet to cum like
this. I just figured my very sexual friend had a power pussy.
Then I received your letter, and I approached Janet on the
subject. She was more then willing to enlighten my readers
and me.
According to her, all women can learn to squirt. She highly
recommended books or videos by Annie Sprinkle or Suzi Bright.
If you want to know what the big deal is, I quote Janet:
"It's a little piece of paradise, my friend. Fuckin great!"
Janet learned to spray her pussy juices from an ex-lover,
who was a big squirter. She said it turned her on to see how
turned on her lover would get.
This sexual phenomenon is achieved by stimulating the G-Spot.
So ladies search, find and conquer. Squirting won't happen
over night.
It takes a lot of patience and tons of practice. You need
to master orgasms. Learn your Vagina inside out. There's nothing
wrong with a little extra masturbating to achieve your squirt
goal.
Here are some tips I picked up. Start with an empty bladder
before stimulating the G-Spot. Relax and get in a comfortable
position. Janet recommends masturbating in the bath, she loves
it.
But wherever works for you is best. Hell, if you're into
it, do it in traffic while your lover is driving. That will
put a smile on his or her face.
You will need lots of towels; it's very messy. My best advice
is to read lots on the subject:
www.krystalwaters.com:
is a sight that seems very informative. She also had some
great links such as www.doctorg.com:
"Tools and Education for a Better Sex Life."
When I asked some guys what they thought of female squirting,
I got some excited reactions.
Like Jeremy: Once when his lover squirted it got up his
nose.
"Did you get it in your eyes too?" I asked.
"No, just up the nose."
"Would you want to see her squirt again? Oh Yeah!"
Jeremy looks away all shy like. Those that haven't had the
pleasure of a squirt girl say,
"Damn Right! I'd love it!"
Like Stu.
The idea of it made him do a little dance across the restaurant
we were in.
Wow! If just the squirt idea gets him this excited, the
possibilities are endless.
Great reactions from girls too.
Tracey, who was eavesdropping on my interview with Janet,
did an involuntary shudder with her whole body.
We all laughed. I think the interview was getting everyone
a little horny. I know Janet and I were ready for a bath.
Thank you, my very sexy friend, for that great interview.
So my dear Squirtless, read the books, watch the videos,
search the net and practice lots. Soon you will be the envy
of all squirt wannabes.
Love, RW
Contact the Retired Whore at 5a7@avivalasvegas.com.
Make sure to put Retired Whore in the subject line.
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