If you are having a hard time staying a la mode, critter's column is a must read. When he's not attracting porn crafters, sugar daddies and the rest of us, he's setting the trends that keep avivalasvegas readers ahead of the masses. Up to date, sometimes hilarious and always refreshing, his take on life and pop culture is bang on. Join him this month as he tackles monogamy.
nonconformistcritter
I want me
It's a great thing when you discover your inherent sex appeal.
It is a freeing as a cool breeze on a hot night. When you
can look in a mirror and really like what you see and in fact
you want you to some degree - well that's just nice. The trouble
is so many of us don't dig ourselves. I see it day in and
day out. Flesh under some cumbersome tunic of polyvicose.
Hair styles that look like the person cut it themselves in
a dark room.
Now, the wrinkle is the tartation of 13 year old girls.
They have tarnished the sex appeal crown. The fact that boobs
are popping left and right and navels are so passe is testament
not to self awareness but to a lemming like following of Miss
Big Booty aka JLO. The flagrant is tawdry(and not in a good
way darlings) and one dimensional. It's only the latest in
a long line of devices used to disarm the pubescent male.
Except now it's so in your face it's hard to look away.
What this has done besides cause a run on "I just ate a
sparerib" lip gloss and crop tops is really whacked the shit
out of subtlety. Now I'm certainly not against loosening the
girdles. I just liked the cleanliness of how this century
looked like it was starting out. I like the smooth hair and
the crisp lines. I can now even stomach beige. I like that
people seemed to be embracing their natural sex appeal. With
all the boys highlighting their hair and frankly looking a
little girly; well we have a competition ladies and gentlemen.
Where is there room for a non-flashy, I don't wear crop
tops kind of person? It's simple - it's already there. Sex
appeal is intrinsic to your self. It is the way you smile
and breathe. It's a confidence that just melds with you one
day. Remember the first time you were aware of your sexuality?
Well, it's as fresh as that and equally heady. Embrace your
sex appeal and don't be all Oprah about it, just like you.
It's casual day at work tomorrow and I going to see the
same sweat pant Sallies and sausage casing jeans. In the crowd
will be the few, the proud and the confident. They will be
unaffected and able to say they have never owned a toe ring.
They will give off an aura that hucksters have tried to bottle
forever. I will see them and I will be attracted to them.
And they don't have to show me their ass crack to do it. Now
eventually would be nice but...
Contact nonconformistcritter at 5a7@avivalasvegas.com. Make sure to put nonconformistcritter in the subject line.
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