Meet our friend Mr. Penis and his book club entourage. Each month, his book club meets to discuss and review a book. While the entourage is quite friendly, Mr. Penis can be a real dick if he doesn't like the selection. Unfortunately, he pretty much judges a book based on the sex scenes. So please, Feed Mr. Penis's Big Fat head and let us know what you recommend. Don't forget to tell him which pages contain the good bits!

Mr. Penis's Book Club

By Mr. Penis

Ratings:

Mr. Penis:

Hi gang! Let me introduce myself. I'm Mr. Penis. Our book club selection this week is "Who moved my Cheese," by Spencer Johnson M.D.

For those of you who don't know me, let me introduce myself. Like Oprah, I have a book club, but let me tell you right off the bat honeys, mine is bigger.

Like Oprah, I have a faithful group of readers who have already joined the club, but I prefer to call them my entourage, Yes, you got it, I'm Mr. Penis, and this is my book club.

Shalom Kiddies! Welcome, no need to suck up, just jump right in and join us. We are always ready to welcome new members.

Now, the first thing I noticed when I opened this book is the list of companies and organizations that give this book to their staff to help them deal with change.

For instance, Apple Computers, Bausch and Lomb, Blue Cross, Citibank, Mobil, Sara Lee, Piillsbury, Texaco, Time Warner and others. So, if you cannot afford this book and would like to read it, maybe you can apply to work at one of these companies and have to read it as part of your job.

What it's about? It is the story of 4 characters who live in a maze and look for cheese to eat and enjoy. "Cheese" being a metaphor for what you want (e.g to make lots of money, be happy, a good job, whatever,)and the "Maze" is where you look for it.

The author of this book, Spencer Johnson M.D., is also the author of the bestseller "The One Minute Manager". He is described on the jacket as "the best there is at taking complex subjects and presenting simple solutions that work"

Now, aren't the people at these companies supposed to be able to deal with complex problems? It worries me that we need to break them down into characters like Hem and Haw in order for them to understand. Think Oil Spills, computer glitches and Red Cross Blood Scandals. Now think "Who moved my Cheese."

Do you really need Mr. Penis to make this connection for you?

Who moved my Cheese is for absoloute morons, and if your boss gives you this, it can only mean one thing: you are about to get fired and they are trying to prepare you for the big change to come.

There is no sex, no love, no gambling. Nothing exciting in this world of "Cheese." This book is filled with empty platitudes like "having cheese makes you happy (P.30)".

The only fun thing to do with these platitudes is to replace the word Cheese with the word Penis or Snatch. Try it with the examples below:

"The More Important your Cheese is to you the more you hold on to it.(p. 36)", "Smell the Cheese often so you know when it is getting old," "The quicker you let go of Old Cheese, The Sooner you find New Cheese/(p,.60)," and " if I imagine myself enjoying new Cheese, even before I find it, leads me to it? (p.52)

Now that's a bit fun, isn't it?

I would give this book another Limp Dick Rating, but that little exercise we just did is so fun, I will give it a half-mast rating.

The Entourage:

"SO PLEASE, PLEASE, FEED MR. PENIS's BIG FAT HEAD...let us know what you're reading and what you recommend."

E-mail Mr. Penis at 5a7@avivalasvegas.com
Make sure to put att: Mr. Penis in the subject line.
Keep in Mind that Mr. Penis is a real busy guy and may not be able to respond to all mail.

Next month: LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN: by Hubert Selby Jr., described as "scorching, unrelenting, pulsing" Do you recommend this book? Share your thoughts with with Mr. Penis.

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