At McCool's Speakeasy, she's offering up the 2001 virtual version of the speakeasies of Prohibition. Open 24 hours, no prohibition here. Always entertaining, not always coherent, this after hours joint is your number 1 spot for pop-cultural speculation.
McCool's Speakeasy
Resist
Yes I joined the thousand of other viewers to watch The 74th Annual Academy Awards a month or so ago.
I wish I could say I was oblivious to the world’s elite and famous. But alas, every year my curiosity gets the better of me and I succumb to watching the Oscar’s- or at least, E.T.’s highlights of them. But this is not to say I watch them without skepticism and/or criticism. After all, that would be taking the fun out of it.
Except, ironically this year I found myself criticizing the criticism.
Believe it or not, surprising as this may seem, I feel the need to come to the defense of this year’s ‘worst dressed females’: Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Connelly. I choose to defend them not because of my devotion to either but because I feel there is a larger issue at hand: The issue of gravity.
Both these women were pooh-poohed by Barbara Walters (!) and the likes because they failed to ‘push-up’, as Barbara put it. God forbid that they should display their un-siliconed, un-pushed-up breasts. This is Hollywood after all! I beg to differ.
Sag, as Barbara Walters should well know, is inevitable. And to see sag on the likes of Gwyneth and Jennifer was quite frankly refreshing, not to mention relieving if you ask me! In fact, it spoke volumes. They’re not perfect. Nobody is. Ta! Da! Finally an attainable beauty standard.
As for the push-up bra, I am a strong believer that this is some serious and futile false advertising. Luring someone (especially a breast obsessed man – are there any others?) into the bedroom under false pretenses could potentially cause more damage than good. It’s fairly common knowledge that men are creatures that do not respond well to build-up followed by disappointment- if you know what I mean. More importantly, anybody who makes it as far as your bedroom should like you for who you are not your breast size or perkiness!
So I say: ‘Bullocks!’ to Barbara’s positively proposterous push-up policy and leave you with this….
Ode to the Untouched Bosom
Just because you sag doesn’t mean you’re an old bag,
Could just mean you’re a girl who’s experienced the weight of this world,
Be aware that this dictation to be upright,
Seems rather unnatural and definitely uptight!
You see, I’m afraid gravity is impossible to avoid,
And those who advocate to hide this – somewhat paranoid!
So y’all girlfriends, be strong and be wise,
Be boobylicious and forget the disguise,
And while you’re at it, be proud and hon-est,
Fear not the beauty of your true breast!
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