Join McCool this month on her Valentine's sit-com fantasy dates:" One serious, no-longer-secret T.V. crush I have is on Hyde‚ the guy who lives in the basement on "That 70‚s Show". Even in T.V.-land, I pick the winners! Call me crazy but I could seriously get in to chillin with him in the basement with a fatty and rockin his AC/DC bad ass world. And let me tell ya, he wouldn't know what hit him!"
McCool's Speakeasy
It's That Time of Year Again!
When I am boyfriend-less on Valentine's Day, I usually choose to ignore the day completely.
Seeing that this is usually my situation on V-day, I'm very used to it, and therefore it comes fairly easily at this point (boo-hoo!).
In addition to being lover-less this year, I'm also in the middle of moving and extremely busy. So realistically, while couples are copulating this February 14th, the only thing that will get (ful)filled in my apartment are boxes and more boxes.
Ah! Well! On the bright side, think of the pounds of heart shaped chocolate I'll save myself from carrying around not to mention the innocent flowers that won't die on my account. And don't you worry, I'm sure I'll still find some way to consume red wine and too many of those little cinnamon hearts and fall asleep worry-free and/or oblivious.
Last year, an acquaintance of mine invited me to an anti-Valentine‚s Day party she was having. Her beef with the ever-popular warm-fuzzy day is that it apparently promotes consumerism (like to see her turn down 12 red roses). According to her, it also forces people to profess their love; an emotion she feels should be expressed out of desire not demand.
Thankfully, in an attempt to avoid encouraging the unnecessary bitterness and slowing down my karma even more, I declined. I also refrained from telling her that maybe just maybe she needed to get laid! Ooh! Ouch! I‚m a nasty girl! Just call me Janet!
But one thing I do find myself wishing in Valentine's season, is that dating was still in. Or, more specifically, fun dating as opposed to weird dating.
That doesn't exist does it? You know, like in Happy Days!
Picture it:
You're at Al's and preferably Cha-Chi (ooh! la! la!) saunters up to you in his skin tight jeans. So what if it's cuz Joanie has ran off as a doo-op! girl with Leather Tuskedaro this week? Then, he asks you in that not yet fully developed male voice of his, if you want to hang out with him at Inspiration Point this Valentine's Day. What girl in their right mind could say no to that?
Hmm…what other sit-com Valentine's fantasies do I have going? There's something to be said for completely spontaneous, too busy to plan, month of free cable, stream of consciousness writing. What an escape!
I s'pose I have to forget about the "Friends" sitcom group‚ cuz they're all taken (or almost) or divorced a few too many times, not to mention porking out! - Except for Ross‚ but he's got other issues.
Omigod! I know! Check it out! You're admitted to the hospital on February 14th because you badly stubbed your very sexy little toe (?) only to be taken care of by that hot Croatian doctor off of E.R. (a fine replacement for George Clooney) who proceeds to ask you if you need some help hobbling home. Whoa! Baby! I‚m hot tonight.
One serious, no-longer-secret T.V. crush I have is on Hyde‚ the guy who lives in the basement on "That 70‚s Show". Even in T.V.-land, I pick the winners! Call me crazy but I could seriously get in to chillin with him in the basement with a fatty and rockin his AC/DC bad ass world. And let me tell ya he wouldn't know what hit him!
But the Valentine‚s T.V. extravaganza wouldn't be complete without mention of the show that promoted fantasy. You got it: "Fantasy Island!". I'd fly there in a heartbeat with whoever, just to see that little Tatoo dude running alongside the plane below yelling you know what! I was raised on that shit
.
Who knows? That show could be the very reason for this outpour of long repressed T.V. fantasies today. Yah! Yah! Blame it on that!
Beats the hell outta the anti-Valentine camp that's for damn sure! And it creates options. Just think, if you don't have a sweetheart this Valentine's Day, all you need is a T.V. and/or an imagination (and I know you've got one of those!).
So don't just sit there! Channel surf! Or just simply close your eyes, be as sexy as you can be and dare to dream - if you know what I mean!
P.S. If you simply can‚t bring yourself to face Valentine's Day this year, celebrate Avivalasvegas's 1st Anniversary instead! Whoo! Hoo! We made it! Martinis everyone?
Contact the speakeasy at 5a7@avivalasvegas.com. Make sure to put McCool's Speakeasy in the subject line.
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