At McCool's Speakeasy, she's offering up the 2001 virtual version of the speakeasies of Prohibition. Open 24 hours, no prohibition here. Always entertaining, not always coherent, this after hours joint is your number 1 spot for pop-cultural speculation. Tonight at McCool's Speakeasy she's serving up the waitress rant in 6 juicy parts. From Quentin Tarrantino Tipping Theory to Waitress Fantasies, join in and don't forget to tell her that avivalasvegas sent you.
McCool's Speakeasy this month:
Clogging the Fountain of Youth
I'm fascinated by Madonna. No, I've never met her but I'm
drawn to any magazine with her on the cover or any talk show
that features her.
I'm actually convinced anyone who claims not to be fascinated
by her (i.e. my boyfriend) is in the closet - secretly admiring
her behind closed doors.
My latest curiosity about Madonna is her ageing, or more specifically, her lack thereof.
Where's the wrinkles?
I stare at the pictures of her on the magazines and strain my eyes during her t.v. appearances and wonder: why do you never see any hint of any wrinkles?
Is it the magical photography and make-up? Is it the yoga? The lack of drugs and alcohol? Has she gone the plastic surgery route and managed to keep it under wraps?
Or, like a mythical, fairytale-like character has she been blessed with immortality and perpetual youth as well as insurmountable fame and fortune?
My boyfriend shakes his head at this myriad of questions.
Not only does he not know but it's apparent that nor does
he care!
Fair enough. I know I could spend my time thinking about subjects of more depth.
Madonna ain't the only one out there obsessed with ageing
Nevertheless, aging is a reality we all face and not always
with ease, (something I have personally discovered lately)
so maybe my fixation on it Madonna and her ageing process
isn't as futile as it initially seems.
Certainly, the more I think about it the more I understand
that Madonna's pictures (and many other photos of celebrities)
don't easier.
Over time, it's become clearer and clearer to me that while
these pictures don't expose any laugh and/or frown lines,
they do expose our society's obsession with youth (especially
the physical aspect of this) and fear of age.
This particular obsession is one I reluctantly have to admit I find difficult NOT to buy into, literally!
From Cher's pocketbook to my tip jar: ageing celebrity
style
Somehow, I am confident that I'm not alone. How could I
be? Women constantly hear that it's impossible for them, unlike
men, to age gracefully.
One has to look no further than a birthday card display to find that aging for all sexes is considered undesirable, something to poke fun at. All of us probably have at least one friend or relative that refuses to reveal their age.
Even the ever so aggressive vixen 'Samantha' from the ever
so popular 'Sex and the City' crumbles at the mention of but
one thing: that she's an 'older woman'.
While she is a fabricated character, she is one that cleverly
reflects the values of her generation's social values (or
lack of).
Make no mistake, the countless commercials for anti-aging
cremes (usually directed towards women) and hair dyes to color
gray, not to mention the counters full of these products (and
others) in the drug stores are concrete proof that there's
a market for them.
The market being people like me hoping to 'buy' some time.
Well I hate to break it to all you suckers like me out there,
but it's impossible to buy time. Time is precious. It's also
impossible to erase time (and lines! - unless you've got Cher's
money!).
Chugging mickeys or ageing gracefully: there's gotta
be more to it all, or is there?
And hey, if you could, would you really want to? Seriously
think about it, if you could go back both mentally and physically
(because try as we may, the two cannot be separated) to a
more 'graceful' age, would you?
Because ironically enough, even while I drop $30!!! on some
eye creme - that I've convinced myself really works! - I don't
think I would.
Why? Because the truth is what you gain over the years is
a lot more than just wrinkles and sags. In fact, if the wrinkles
and sags are the price you pay for the knowledge, insight
and piece of mind then I'll take them.
Come to think of it, what exactly is 'graceful'? Is it throwing
up after drinking a mickey of vodka in half an hour or learning
to stay away from the 'hard stuff' and stick to beer?
Is it looking good? Or perhaps realizing there's a lot more
to life than looking good? Or maybe discovering that looking
good includes more than an airbrushed face? And isn't looking
good directly related to feeling good anyway?
Something that works it's way out from the inside, not vice
versa. I mean when you really get down to it, isn't beauty
truly a combination of inner and outer qualities?
Put your moolah where your mouth is ladies and gents: "no more killing
ourselves to stay young!"
What I'm trying to get at is that the saying 'you're only
as old as you feel' may be a cheesey cliché, but hey, it's also
true, I'm afraid.
I could go on until I'm blue in the face but let's face
it none of these words mean anything unless they are put into
action.
That's why I've decided from now on, I'm putting my money
where my mouth is and encourage others to do the same. No
more killing myself to stay young!
Because it is just that. It's tormenting not rejuvenating!
And while I can't go as far as cutting myself off from Madonna
magazines entirely (just being realistic!), I have decided
to put a stop to my strange curiosity concerning her aging
(to my boyfriend's relief).
Because even if she's not aging (or more likely, fooling
us about her age), I AM aging - as we speak!!! and brace yourself...so
are you!!! And it's about time we all face and accept our
age (and ultimately, ourselves) not run away from it because
it ain't goin' away!
Just think about what succeeding at this almighty challenge could mean. Why, it could very well mean that when your next monumental birthday hits, rather than cower away from it and yearn to be younger (and stupider) you could actually celebrate it for what it is, who you are.
Now that my friends would be 'graceful'.
Contact the speakeasy at 5a7@avivalasvegas.com. Make sure to put McCool's Speakeasy in the subject line.
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